Why I do? What I did?
Have you ever? I have. Me inclusive when I am at the receiving end.
Let me at the receiving end for now.
Most often when I am offended, I coil in, my first instinct is to find fault with the other person or thing involved. Then the initial period wanes off, some sanity dawns and you consider your contribution to the whole drama, which can be some. After that an evaluation dawns if the other person matters, you tend to talk to the person, to understand “ Why they did, What they did”. That's the genuine talk of all the talks we would have. Understanding the perspective of the person, not to find faults but to understand better both of us involved.
I am coming to realize, that most of us don't like talking about feelings, which are the consequence of our actions. Long gone, they are but they seem to have left an impact on one of us and that one is approaching you to understand it better. Most I see dismiss by saying “past is past”. That may not be fair to both parties, but at least we can agree to disagree and learn not to expect next time.
Such dissection is not easy on most of us, it tires us out, to relive a moment deep down we know wasn't pleasant. So most of us are defensive to approach it once more, whatever excuse we give, we all know there is some contribution of yours in the drama whether big or small.
Have had deep hurt from some people, who might have been acting from their perspective, because they could be in a situation of theirs. All of that time, as said after initial coiling and introspection, time goes into evaluating if the person in question is important to you or not. This takes up major mind space as this decision can be swayed from 1 to 0, because of the past experiences with the person and the tentative future you had built in your mind with expectations and hopes with the person in it. Most importantly how much has gone under the bridge, so it becomes tiresome to let go of it sometimes, and also the lethargy of building something that deep with another also would be a consideration. For some this decision is very instant, mine is an arduous process of introspection and judging myself to have been this person who cannot forgive and forget. But whatever it may be I am intrigued by these genuine question
“Why You Did, What You Did”
The explanations can vary from “ I hoped that you would understand my perspective”. Or “I value you that much only” to “I am this person, accept me as I am” — Ready to if you realize so!
