Who is reaching out?

In a well-intentioned relationship, you tend to reach out to the other without agenda. In other cases, contact is made when there is a need. These interactions are transactions, which might leave you feeling used.

There are 2 aspects to this, ofcourse from my perspective, when you think of a person and a thought of reaching out comes to you. Whether you ultimately reach out or not is hugely dependent on your comfort level; you might have developed with each other. There are specific sets you reach out to and leave it at that, with no expectations. Sometimes, some of them take their time to respond, and you are ok with it. There is another set with whom you have developed a rapport; hence, you know they would respond instantaneously as if you are their priority. So, in that case, if no responses come, you either have to recheck your earlier trust about your bond or the person is in a different or difficult situation and isn’t able to respond. Find ways to enquire about that, then. Banter can wait. Now it comes to you how to pursue this, and there are many implications. In both cases, you would leave a message, and in the second case, wait + watch, as you expect a banter fest here. Other case is laced with care.

There is another set of people you want to reach out to with a purpose. This purpose could be laced with your need to be associated with the person you consider at an aspirational position, or you want to be involved romantically or in a more profound friendship. Here, there is an agenda and, hence, expectations. It can be either a good journey, depending on the other person, or you could switch to reaching out without expectations. That could lead to you being termed as a stalker sometimes, as there is no sync with the other person.

Then there are times you were sure there was an equation, but as life goes by, there are changes that you haven’t caught up on either side. Hence, the sync isn’t there. Then, the communication can be a bit forced, and sometimes responses aren’t with the required empathy or love. This makes you think, are you still invested in this or not? How to go about this is a tricky one. It makes me think.

Whatever the above scenarios could be , I would still stick by the rule — reach out when the thought comes. Leave the rest if I can.