Vacuum to a story
Does this theory make sense to you?
What is needed to do your thing, is a deep sense of Nothingness first. If put in the most positive way I can. Otherwise, you fuck yourself to a point of no return, when you actually start finding your almost correct way.
In the environment in which I had been raised, being you wasn't the right thing to be. Instead of being the NICE you were. Being observant you tend to adapt to what is the norm, instead of being the black sheep as that's the easier way to be. In this way you pass off without much tension, because you always have someone to refer to, in my case one of my cousins was hugely talented, so emulating her meant some shared success like her. If it is done this way, this is one of the possible results, so be at it, used to be attitude and the environment encouraged anonymity and conformance largely.
The consequence of it is that this path is someone else's and hence although we don't realise it, we don't really enjoy that. A sense of unhappiness starts forming, which at younger ages, you brush aside saying that it isn't valid. The urge to try something else also wouldn't be there. Maybe we are afraid of the effort needed for that and the environment needed to express and get the necessary resources is also not available. The long-term effect of that is a huge vacuum, which sometimes morphs itself into boredom, which you counter by different means of distractions we all have in plenty and at the fingertips as well.
At a later stage, this vacuum is not fathomable and you are finding quick fixes to deal with it, as most of the root of it is a very long set of actions and decisions which was taken at a time when they were taken unconsciously. Hence can't understand and retrace and correct it as well. So basically you are royally screwed, you know you have to do something, which sometimes gets fulfilled by a surge of activities that gives some kind of semblance. But to return to a deep slump a bit later, and no tactics start working other than understanding what is the state now and changing some thinking patterns, setting up boundaries, and eliminating some habits, people, and activities that truly aren't yours or you don't identify with them at the deepest level. For all of these, a lot of effort it takes. First, take a log of things and then take action and be at it. In my case, I took help from a therapist — www.livingcompassion.life and it took me years to figure out some of what it is, and then took even more time to do some activities which might be beneficial for me. As we know, we are all unique and have had different experiences and circumstances, so in this case, the process is very different from others and can't be just copying someone else's course of action. That makes it all the more frustrating as a lot of failures and convoluted and emotion-filled processes it is. Just facing them itself isn't easy, you just want to be numb to them and the emotions exhaust you.
To make something out of all of this, you need to really be there for yourself in that turmoil so that the story that is formed after that is enjoyable and clearer. Another challenge might exist in the very next corner, but we would more prepared we are to handle that.
Rithik Roshan taled about this Vaccum and that was my trigger to address mine — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xvz7c0W-cWw @flimcompanion Anupama Chopra
