Things They Told
Yes, we are the product of our upbringing. To make a change to that its real hard work. As the science says, the first 7 years of life shapes the character of the individual.
Certain times when weird thoughts linger or unusual responses are blurted out, you often wonder where it came from? There is a safe place in us as I understand where there is a programming which has been formed by living for those many years and it is influenced by every moment lived, each encounter we had and circumstances we were in.
Our most important influence would be the close set of people we interact on a daily basis. We imbibe a lot from them is what is proven.
Some of cardinal rules of life which I seem to have taken from that close set…
“If your intend is pure, you won’t do any harm”. Intent is a tricky thing that monkey thought does show up and makes us do certain stuff, but in no time would hide behind other thoughts or feelings. Now you are lost! I ain’t talking if you are opening the fridge door and blinking at it.. that is normal after 40, and I just retreat from there thinking that I went there just to get a whiff of cold burst, which helps my flashes. You getting my drift, you want to say buy a expensive watch, what can be the intend behind. Ha ha tricky isn’t it? Is it to show off, is it see tike conveniently or you like wearing expensive stuff or you have a belief that only expensive timekeepers are the real keepers. So every time we wear that watch, that intend is reiterated and solidified, and thus, more such patterns form. You say a certain thing to a person, say a hurtful thing, what could be the intention. To protect yourself or just to hurt. Its my mom who reiterates this principle, I think I got some essence out of it and would like to hold on to good intentions in every act and baring certain ones which needs to be done with wrong intension as that person or situation requires that.
“What you give with one hand, the other hand need not know” — this emphasises the importance of giving. This used to be the principle with which my dad used to operate from. Only after his demise and in the funeral service we knew of different acts of service from people attended, but he never spoke of it. In todays world, an act of service and a post on social channels being must, that man didn’t even tell it to his family.
“Oru kai kodukkunathu Maru kai ariyarathu” — as the above said in malayalam. Tring to execute this in most cases, but ego comes in the way, and the rule of reciprocity is implemented, and the whole purpose of service is lost.
“Never think negative of a person” — only angels can do so, and one such is my Sister in Law. Never heard her speak ill of anyone. Rather, she finds fault with herself than the other. A bad habit that kills her. A humongous principle to practice, as most times can’t look past the negative intentions with which others come in.
Keep it simple and stupid. The partner fornlife when I chose him, little did I know what made us attract each other. It’s definitely is opposites attract. I am the most complex thinker and very prude. He is just the opposite, may be that kept it light for us and thus toned my thinking down to some extend. Not the stupid part, that is punjabiness in him, but my brother too emphasises on being simple and thus that gets reinforced by him. Simplicity and innocence in motion that he is, and he is a huge inspiration in that department. But me being innocent, is a huge ask, devil in me totally disagrees.
The thinkers say you are influenced by 5 close people, I have 2 rockstars rolled into one, as the 5th candidate. The kids of our family, but the most wise of them all. Poker faced always, but observant and when they speak only wise words tumble out and never anything without clarity. They do, most of the time, rattle out life lessons that might make you think … who is the child in this equation. The most important which I learnt from them “ Do it only if you enjoy it”
