The way you make me feel
Have you ever thought of this:
The only thing which remains with a person after an interaction, how we make them feel. Wasnt a thought which occured naturally but something which needs pondering and actions with it.
When I look back there were instances where I was made feel different ways by different people, would refer them all without reference to the person, as the feeling here is given importance than anything else and what is my take away from it.
May not be chronological, timelines of these references could be happazard, as I would like to go with the first come first basis on my mind.
I was asked to meet a proposed suitor by the family in a fancy restaurent in bangalore when I was may be 27, and family thought it was time to find a suitable match. It was a dinner meeting and after initial introductions as we sat down to eat, the suitor ordered curd rice as he explained he doesnot like to experiment at all with food. I still went ahead and ordered what I wanted and made a mental note of flexibility quotient he had to the maturity level I had then. So not a great start, but in the ensueing conversations, I felt I was on a job interview and I was just evaluated as a professional only by that person. Why I say he made me feel so because, after initial question on my skills or project which I was doing. He just mapped me to contribute to a department in his startup and gave me a life long plan how we would span out. He just planned my life for me and made me feel incompetent to make a decision to work with him or not.
Obviously the wisdom prevailed and didnt go with this tayir sadam guy, but a huge learning as to not to plan another persons life did come handy.
That being the best among the young adult suitor hunt experiance. There were instances when people did make me feel good about myself, but I didnt feel I am suited for them and outrightly rejected them. I aint sure how I made them feel, hopefully fair, understanding and listened to.
Another instance when I was made feel trivial is when I was spitted at when I went knocking a door to call the person. This made me feel to underplay myself so that I would be off radar for such extreme reactions in family get togethers. Here I dont see a learning for myself but wish the other person learn a lesson or two to treat people with utmost respect, especially a kid who is just 7 or 8.
An instance when I assumed that I could be creating a menace in official environment and I should step out. In a tense office instance a person had the guts to suggest that I need to intensify my yoga practice, so that I am more adept at dealing with whatever thrown at me. That few seconds I froze and didnt give a befitting comeback to that. Although I itched for one, but I was too wounded by circumstances to retort in the right way. I cowled inside and went introspecting If I am fit to work in a ever dynamic startup which we were all finding grip off. A huge learning from this was to put my head down and hone my skills and rest of it which follows is a bonus. Not to prove yourself in a largely male dominated office spaces where a flutter here and their of emotions is considered hormonal and not taken with right gravitas. We women often loose out and step out from this battle or war which empasise on mindless actions and evaluations later.
Now coming to good ones. In younger years you enter workplace after the morning rush and just settle down , a college who otherwise hasnt ever talked to you, comments “ Oh so now I know what caused the traffic jam in the MG Road today! ”
This made me feel good, although took sometime to fathom that this young bloke can speak in this way and that was the first statement which was ever said to me. Just a great ego booster for someone who tumbled to work place without much self assurance.
There are a lot of good ones.. may be can start a series of mediums for it.
The crux of the matter being clearly I dont remember the gifts I have received but what every moment when I felt joyful with a person or felt pathethic.
