The Shell shocking effect
Its part of growing up, shells are removed to see the real pearl inside. Was amused by the shell for most part of life and was misguided too. There was a instance by when the shell of the person showed passion for a cause, empathy and all right signals to trust him and bring him to closer quarters. But life taught that those great qualities doesnt maketh the man. The laclustreness for anything which nneeds responsibility, fickleness of shallow conversation, insecurities which mounted to not being open, needed more listening to before deciding where the person belongs. The damage done by then is not forgivable but makes you realise — could have used the time and trust invested in better quarters. Atleast for a short while that trust worthiness of not believing in trust could have been avoided.
Another angle to it, in the process of this pearl revelation, in every new associations, ill come to the old ones later. In the new ones when this process of finding the real other person, you might seem to the other as a finicky, pricky acquiantance with whom he might decide not to test the patience and invest the time. This means a very megre count would have the patience to wade through this scrutiny or your phase of validation and you having a communication which is heart to heart. You could be found a snob and someone who is hugely anti social too.
In the growing up, the friends for life are made in general. In my case because of scrutiny and time restrait because of social conditioning, no forever friendships were formed. I cant claim a persom who knows me in all phases of life. So if someone had to say … This is what she is/was, its not a complete picture with none. And I dont have someones complete story too.
Feels a bit sad to be so. I made my closest friendships in my 30s and 40s, glad I tasted that too in life. The friendship where you have seen the core, but decided to accept as it is and opt to be judged or not or fully heard by that person. Still there is a regret that when I was struggling with those teenache years and maturing years of 20s, I felt there was no need of a companion to share the trails of adulting and more.
