The I, I was told to be

Do I remember me before anyone told me who I am

I am trying hard, do I remember me less apprehensive of intimacy, before I saw bare bodies in the corridors of the backyard when searching for food and safety from the house maid.

I don’t believe to have to not talk of awkward situations and solve when a unwanted pregnancy was dealt with by eliminating the victim from the scene than punishing the perpetrator.

I am a lone warrior and help won’t come from others and its not strength to ask for help, when found ways to wriggle out of bad advances at age when play should have been priority and in safe spaces.

Excellence and focused gains without fun in the journey, is the answer to struggle of life, than relaxed but focussed efforts with lots of moments of joy in between.

Open communication so that someone would not be kept dangling without an indication to move on and lead a journey without you.

Doubts of being a nuturer being questioned multiple times as the styles didn’t match and pulling through and presenting a kid ready for the present world.

Struggling through the conditioning that needed unlearning, which was essential as the inner urge for that was huge but everyone else thought it was a minor aberration that could be fixed by distractions or often venting out.

So do I remember who am I ?