Surrendering to freedom.
Once a learned man told me “Surrender you would be free of these heavy emotions which you are experiencing”
The first thought which popped up when hearing this was — How can I surrender, surrender in literal English meaning has a negative connotation, which is giving away your power. How can any sane person give away her self and power?
Later to realise that it's my this sense of self that is making me embroiled in those set of emotions that I experience. Hard to explain and make an effective argument as to why this sense of “I am” does not help, maybe keep it for another time to educate myself a bit more on it and then do it. The ego makes you feel complex and is a hard thing to explain too.
To the surrender the learned one told, there is a small addition to it as well, that being “You let go and totally surrender to your partner”. All the more difficult to be codependent on him to get out of this pathetic state of mine. This could be that sense of self that he nudged me to explore and let go. That time though, it felt as though being totally dependent on another human for your happiness and existence which was a bit difficult to understand.
In yoga, the concept of surrender is not failure. “To surrender is to let go, to yield to experience, to rest back, to witness, to go with the flow. It’s imbued with complete devotion and dedication to a higher power. It’s giving up the desires of the ego and identifying instead with a universal desire.”
As famously we all know “Letting go” is the best way to be. But still, there is a lot of exploring of this letting go, as it still feels like giving up.
