Sondering

This is a realization we often miss and go on our complex loops on ourselves and miss out on this vivid journey of their emotions and their stories. Really? Are these stories to pursue?

Here I am just going on my imaginary trip on some of these stories of people whom I interact with.

She is the most warrior like person I know, something in the journey of hers (reminding you I am sondering!) have instilled in her that she is to be the solver for all for her loved ones and she needs to do things perfectly. This warrior mentality itself makes her mission driven all the time, added to that one of the influences in her young life somehow has instilled a supreme confidence which translates into complete pink tinted glassed view of self. In a way its great, as there are a new set of admirers always, which gives validation and confidence boost. Is it a bubble? Now sondering inside sondering! Matrix ! ha ha…. sometime this bubble of hers broke and there is a kind of rejection which came her way and is struggling to accept that. But by that good naturedness of hers, she goes back to give the most like a warrior to that estranged bond and is hanging on. Isnt it toxic? My intentitive sondering says so.

She is the most unpredictable person I have encountered in my life. My experiance told me a decade or so before, we might vibe well, so there was some chat which used to go on a daily basis. I thought I was her support during one of her dark times, somehow we shared hatred of her perpetrators. Later to realise shared-hatered-bonding is as toxic as it can be. A blip from her side, as I perceive it, almost a decade and more of bond is severed and there are no efforts to mend it. As my sondering goes on, she has better things to do or she doesnot consider it as a blip or consider it as a given. But using a person for your purpose and that too for years and dropping like a hot potatos on flames is not done! Whatever I cannot wrap my mind around it.

Then there is another specimen who proclaims himself to be healer and wants to connect with my energies. But the rest of mine including my energies sees danger all through. But he thinks that it is ok to stalk and sent multiple messages. Sondering here, a troubled soul, as per normal human behavoir I can be of “help” to find his way. But do I help myself or others in such situations is the best decision taken.

A friend constants complains of financial difficulties. You hear once or twice or on third time you offer some money as loan. He rejects that offer. Then complians of hardships continues for months, as a friend you offer once more and moneys are transfered. Months later you ask for schedule of pay back of loans. Initially gives some schedule, which is never honoured. You remind and then slandering starts and use of abusive langauge as well. This leads to blocking of the “friend”. Sondering here could be “Sad, the person is under so much pressure that the pressure I putt, he wasnt able to handle.” Very noble of me. really, I am seething within to have been cheated by a “ freind” .

So this sondering business isnt that fun! Take the chance to slander and shame rather !