Smiles and more

I am getting smiled at more .. no not laughed at... I don't think I still have the capacity to take “laughed at”. More work to do… Zenning out or is it in!

Yes, random strangers are smiling at me. First few instances I thought hmmm …. why is she/he smiling at me. When she smiles it's ok… but when he smiles…hmm I know, what your intentions are is the first thought which comes. The ever badly conditioned mind never accepts the fact that a person can smile at you and not expect anything from you until you do that yourself. Another aspect of women smiling at you, we women have a bro code of disliking each other vehemently for no reason, I just didn't like the curve of your smile, I am your enemy. Just that she has worn a better dress or she has a confident swag, she is not my type at all. So when she smiles at me, I already have a veil of judgment in me, and how can I think it is genuine.

That said in recent times… I was introduced to the concept of kindness. In a conversation with a person, he commented I am kind. It was a constant remark that I came my way in those conversations. Then I realized it is not me who is kind, but he wants to see everyone around to be kind. So that's his way of spreading it. But that seems to have worked in my case. I started seeing, observing, taking in things with that emotion at the forefront. His technique worked for sure. I tend to smile at more people, I tend to extend my help to more people and I tend to talk to more people with more intent. What does that do to me, I am brimming with great feelings most of the time and the veil of sadness seems to fade away. I hope to not have that bout of sadness that conquers me in the same intensity anymore.