Pain in the neck
thats a idiom we use “she is a pain in the neck”..to a person who is a source of annoyance or nuisance. A troublesome person to be around.
Till now its somebody elses pain and you can have sympathy towards or even a step further emphatise with it as well. Now if its your pain or you are the pain in the neck to yourself. To others how much it is, its a very different book to be written about.
Some months or is it years ago, I developed a pain in the neck, right neck to be precise, which became a constant companion. A balm there, a physiotherapy here, it started playing hide and seek with me. But I could feel him constantly, lets name him Paino, just as any malayali names are jojo, lijo et all.
So Paino was my constant. How he was such a constant that he perched on my neck, sometimes fidgetting here and there. Upper back was one of his favourites, which sometimes gets relieved by accupressure or sometimes not. Another painful area where he used to hide was below the cheek bones, tensing up the jaws, almost as though I have some weight there. This made me open the mouth quite often to relieve it, but mostly in vain. He does fade away for a while, but would be lingering not ready to break away just as a unsure boyfriend.
Sometime he jumped to lower back with shooting pain travelling to right leg. Now panic buttons are pressed, how could he attack below the belt.
Doctors, chiropractors, MRI machines are sought for. You tend to move like a sick person, as to get up from a bed you need few seconds and to walk another some. Normal activities arent easy and extreme measures are sought for.
Then a epipgany strikes, what if I am creating Paino. What if it is phycosomatic, my regular therapy helped in localising it very well. So I tend to store my feelings triggered by my ever imaginative thoughts in some parts of my body. I tend to have chosen my right side for having Paino.
Now another epiphany, I tend pierce and tatto my right side mostly. All of my first tattoos are on right, in the recent past I have explored inking myself on left. May be I have learnt a bit more not to store Paino anymore but to let him be when he comes, not get attached to him and move on. I am becoming a ghosting expert.
