Observant and (non) judgmental
I stalk is what my loved ones tell me. … when they say I take it in jest… because they see my interest in others as a good source of entertainment for me and thus I am busy out of their hair and possible outcome of it is a observation sometimes or in more generic terms gossip or Goss.
Being an introvert, leaves you with a whole lot of time to do other things as you are not expressing externally,
- You are observing and absorbing.
- You are thinking of it and analysing or sometimes over thinking of it or sometimes being ridiculous and making your version of the story.
- You are listening, and thus, you mostly know what they mean or, to the pain of it, understand the feelings and emotions of the other.
Not all times all these happens, it all depends on how occupied is the mind with its own rut, but given space and time, above all could be happening. So who said introverts aren’t busy and happening people.
All the happenings are in our brains, we are great at making a hill out of ant mole.
Some years before, these used to leave me with many residuals in me at all levels.
Physically that means I am distant and thus gives me space to do my stuff, even if it’s observation.
Emotionally most times draining, as I am thinking of your world as well… you can imagine I have my threads in head, which ranges from how my pooch is growing to the existential questions like “why this” “ How could be that?” .
In addition to these, I add a processing thread in my head for you. How considerate of me, isn’t it…. But what it leaves me with is a muddled thought cloud, in which I solve for you “why you are here” instead of what your condition is. So it is extremely emotionally draining for me and thus isn’t helpful neither to us both.
In addition, I used to be always swayed by the idealistic upbringing I had and thus mostly judgemental.
Deadly combination right… ?
Had to work really hard to take that factor out for myself first and then when in other situations. I lately understood that all of us go through certain situations which shape us, and thus its our responses and actions at a point are hugely influenced by all those, and none of the journeys are the same. So I can’t just pass a judgement for you. This donned quite late in life and a whole lot of damages within myself and a lot of lost or strained relationships.
Now it’s a balancing act of observing but not getting involved. Thus, there are fewer urges to solve/correct, but to be around. It’s a fine line being considered inconsiderate or being that gossip monger to a person who just listens and is around like a rock no matter what.
