Main apni favourite hoon:"I am my own favourite."

This famous bollywood dialogue is from blockbuster - Jab We Met (2007) and it means "I am my own favorite".

The number of times I have watched the same( yes! The movie is a fab watch with Kareenas performance, songs, and story line too), I hadn’t or still doesnt relate to this. What does that really mean? I am wonderous of that state, and I still am with a little more understanding of it. But a sarcastic smirk does erupt on such references.

Why did I smirk to it? my understanding of loving or appreciating oneself is a lot contorted, I realise. If you are appreciating self then it’s being boisterous of self is what I have registered. This means just the being overtly modesty to the level of self sabotage. Where is the balance that Geet the character in the movie seems to have had when she proclaimed as her own favourite and then lost it by a major rejection in her life?

The twists and turns in life events of mine, as in Geet’s taught me to be less modest or even judgemental and be appreciative of what is the core of mine. This actually meant to accept a lot of fears, apprehensions, thoughts, and beliefs which aren’t that easy to be told to self as your own nor to others. Some of them are so shameful that it took days for me to talk about them to even a trustworthy person. It’s an everyday struggle, and somedays, I feel I am growing to be better at it, and just the other second feels otherwise. This anyway means there is a lot to be unearthed in me, and it continues with the hope that I would be my absolute favourite at some point.