Introverts guide to networking
Ha ha, do we introverts have a guide for this? Do we network? Really…
Most of the time, I can’t understand why we even meet people. I turn down meeting requests more than accept them. After accepting the request, I often analyze the scenario and sometimes back out, saying some excuses earlier and, in recent times, telling them the real cause — I am anxious. And “It is not you, but me” — most people don’t understand this. They label it as “You aren’t flexible enough,” “You aren’t accommodative enough,” or “ You have lost it.”
Now, I cannot make you understand why I am anxious/uncomfortable about the meeting when being anxious. At a later point, if you are listening, I can explain why I didn’t meet you then. But by then, you might have labeled me as “unavailable,” “anti-social,” or something else and moved on. Ofcourse, I am not denying that I am not someone who can make a plan and show up for it at the drop of a hat. I need to prepare a lot before I show up. Otherwise, the truth is that after the meeting, I might have to do a lot of work on myself to get back to doing “normal” living. Yes, we do exist. We can be called peculiar, different, or anything else.
We all get affected by being in the presence of other people; some of us can shrug off that effect instantly. But introverts like me need time to process some of your comments, gestures, or responses. It’s not that we read between the lines; we read it only because there is something in between it. Why should we read it if it was not slipped in at all? Some of us are told we overthink it. Maybe you aren’t thinking at all. Could be so, too, right?
We hear something told to us, and together with that, we observe, which means non-verbal cues and vibes are also taken in. So if you say “fuck you” in jest. But the body language says otherwise. We aren’t confused; we take the body language as our cue to understand it better or wholly. As we know, that is more accurate. So we are just “thinking” right about it. There is nothing “over” about it.
Now, these nuances make us not very easily social. Yes, but we do have social outings with people who understand that, and they can be some of the scenarios below.
It need not always be talk, talk, talk. There can be silences and pauses. There can be glancing on the phone or just looking into oblivion to rearrange the thoughts that might and do rush in.
Some meetings can be as simple as being at the same table but doing your stuff at your own pace, connecting, connecting only when there is something to communicate or convey.
Or it could be as messages so that it can be at each person’s pace and time. A message need not be replied to just the second it lands on your screen. Some people think a message replied to at the recipient’s pace is better than never replied to or ignored, so they are our people.
Or it could be a chat in which only the subject is discussed, the conversation is concluded in a few seconds, and the participants are allowed to get back to their respective dens as soon as possible.
So, we do have a Networking 101 Guide. The basic principle is that we give ourselves space and time to communicate effectively. You might do otherwise when you communicate, so don’t expect us to take everything in at one go. We could just pause and take it in slowly and steadily. The point is that we don’t miss anything at all.
