I look back and they were there always.

When did it suddenly slip to a time of crisis I didn't know. It was a routine hospital visit, which slowly and gradually tumbled into a life-changing series of events. Some extreme pain which he had to endure for some hours and I was introduced to a new word palliative care, you wouldnt think your parent would need that in a day. But that shows that he had been braving it for a while without showing it to us, that he needed that extreme care suddenly. When I was told these terms and was asked to make decisions all of a sudden a tribe appeared on my side, just as a support. Not to make a decision but as a cushion to sometimes reflect or sometimes just make me aware of the gravity of it. Doctors rattled of some intricacies which they are trying to entangle with Appas health, me and mom were told about it, we look back and we see Sheetus pappan and family just to hear it out. I still remember their expression, they didnt assure that everything would be alright, would have been a false assurance then, but they just heard it and just assured we are there around.

There was an instance when I was asked to let him struggle more or terminate it. I was waiting for others to join in to take that decision or rather I just was behaving as though that he would brave it as usual and get back. But my dear doctor friend Julie was by my side and slowly introduced me to the terms on which doctors were counseling me. I was given a crash course I guess to accept the fact that he is beyond their medical help.

When the point came when in cryptic words the doctors said that he has passed. I actually reached out to our pillar of strength Shiju pappan to help me see him lifeless. It was most difficult to see him struggle and give it all up all of a sudden.

Then the whole tribe had been showering there love on us in their own ways. Some crying with us, some arranging flowers for him, some reminiscing how he used to subtly help them, some with jokes and their life stories, and some even came out with instances of which we weren't aware. Thank you siamese twins Tinku Chechi and Suchi Aunty and our young suitor of the season Mittuma as Mom calls her.

At all the times when I looked back there was someone always to support and assist. Thank you.