People who help to find you in you.

We are learning every minute, or we are getting refined every minute. Grand thought! Huh?

That twitch, when waiting in the queue and being nudged with the passenger’s bag in front, is also one. Just out of a travel so this came to jind just now! You are triggered to ask them if they think they are alone here. And give that up to avoid an altercation which might stay with you more than others.

These also add to the you in you. Ha ha, we all have a version in us that is supposedly the best you, but you generally get jostled in the masked you, acting you, overpleasing you, or the pinwheel running rat you. And many more of us. It would be very pompous to think that this is me and this is it. In many instances, we say, “ This is me, and that’s how I am” … in a way, we are saying, I don’t intend to make an effort at that instance for that person.
We all absorb something or the other from every passing moment. An observation is that the growing-up years are when we are most observant. I observed that perseverance was the quality that my parents exuded, and that came naturally by conditioning. The smart thing could have been to add thoughtful planning and the leverage to have fun while doing the focused work. As this wasn’t factored in, time management wasn’t the most substantial suit, and guilt when time spent on “other” activities was perpetual.

A dear friend taught me the balance of fun and work and that they can coexist. But it took years to imbibe it in some amount. In the initial years of my career, there was a constant fire in my stomach to do more, but that didn’t arise from doing better and having fun with what was getting done but from comparison and showing up without clear ideas as to what was to be achieved. It was just hard work.

Multiple interactions with friends who pursued their dreams and were having fun with them were sources of emulation. It takes loads of effort to rewire this. At least, my case was that.

The room to fail or do a fault and still be respectable and kind to self came from another friend’s assurance at a very low point. She may have done so because she was unaware of the depth of fault. That she thought I could be
around her gave me hope to go through that phase. Was I kind and forgave myself for that fault? It took eons and lots of back and forth between the yous to come to a common ground. That one of us can be crazy sometimes, and others need to be less judgemental and let the craziness pass.

I can proudly say my offspring taught me to be patient with him and others. I listen better and have fewer assumptions, as I learned from one of his laments that I have presumptuous assumptions about him. That was a jolt and a hard lesson to learn.

Now, I consider every interaction something to note and contemplate. It’s fun observing you within yourself.