Empty nest series: 5 : Growth
We all have different ideas for growth. When in school for me it was just scores. In the 80s and early 90s, academics and excellence in it was the sign of progress, for middle-class Indians. None of the extracurriculars were pursued or even if it .. they get deprioritized by the time you are in grade 8. As the preparations for the 10th-grade start, everything else goes to the back burner. So were my painting, badminton, athletics, and music training. What a loss of development of certain parts.
By college, it was realized other skills also maketh the whole man/woman. Started pursuing reading and some fitness whatsoever facilities were available on the college campus. Those are yoga classes and the library. Glad that those were initiated, and had been an integral part of life after that.
We as a society have setup paths for each of us.
Go to school, then college, and then if you are monied then senior college, otherwise skip that step and start earning. Create debts and grind to pay them off. Climb the ladder, bicker, fight, and sacrifice for it is the package. Beg for vacation and be on it, dreading to get back to the heap which would probably take the leftover spirit altogether out. So that's the ideal loop.
It could be this too. Learn as you please and what you please. Pursue something of your choice and preferably a passion too. Have a passion so intently that you tend to work for it. Earn. Travel the world. Imbibe the experience of people whom you meet. Feed the passion and let live.
But let the live path is not so straightforward. Can create anxiety with the parents although you are not feeding them. And of course lot less predictable and finances can be shaky.
We, your parents started off in the first path and slowly diverged into the second. Your father did that plunge first and I followed suit a decade later. Obviously creating a lot of doubts and anxieties within the family. I can even tell I was filled with self-doubt and doubt about our journey and direction as a unit for most of that journey. But something told me to hang on although your dad was the one who was more assured and patient with the travails which come our way. Could tell some of my doubts did reflect on him and gladly he didn't get consumed by it. Although it created a lot of discord among us.
Both the above are growth paths — let's live one and ideal one. Each path has its pros and cons. Certain goals are impossible with the Ideal path. In the employment path, you have sold your time for money. So your command of it is limited. Some insensitive employers could even make you feel pathetic when you take off for self-care. You could be compromising yourself most of the time in this for the greater good, that being of the company.
In running a business chances are to earn more as you are selling value. A job can be sometimes not for creating value or for a goal, but to keep or maintain a status quo.
It was normal to be asked “ When are you settling” .. what they meant is “ When are you gonna acquire a steady income stream and be a responsible family person”
I would urge you not to settle ever.
reference
https://www.instagram.com/p/CwJVVORoEFZ/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
