Do it ALL

Can we do it all? We are told we can. A girl is conditioned to do it all.

First and foremost not to show it all, even if you are feeling it all. If you express, you are either labeled a rebel, I have had close associates from childhood, who did it and was considered a black sheep. So now you learn not to express, then you are extolled as a golden child. She does it all, listen to you, never talk back, although there is a turmoil inside which is getting ready to ooze out the minute it is given a small crack.

Now coming to doing it all, in growing up years you are mostly not doing it all, just focussing on your academics mostly. You are not exposed to the working of adult life, not discussed what is happening in the big scheme of things, in the name of protection. So you tend to get only the fringe information or just some small remanent information which you assume. That actually makes to assume a lot and behave in such environments with caution and care, which isn’t actually needed, but an open conversation of what is happening and what can be expected, and thus we do it these ways the best to handle it.

Now without this big picture, you launch yourself to the adult world. You have mastered caution and care, and everything you do is governed by that. And now you are doing it all, managing your finances, your emotional needs, and your relationships. We are told you can do it all, drawing from what experience is my question. You start your “doing it all” and you are in a over functioning cycle. We are expected to be amazing mothers, feeding the best at the right time, not allowing any junk, everything that is consumed has to be right from the farms. If your offspring, have had a packet of junk, you are killing yourself and you are damaged more than your digestive system took a toll. The unsolicited advice which comes is to be honored and then be confused as to what is the problem you were to solve. Have had instances when a pediatrician when approached with high fever asked me whether I am working and made a statement that indicated thats the reason the kid is suffering. You anyways are running up the hill in guilt, such insensitive encounters put you in a whirlwind before you realize. No time to process these.

ok

In these testing times is when you are supposed to be performing in your careers the most. So many times when a project were snatched from you as they realise you are pregnant and made your life less easy with mounting deliverables when it can be phased out and handled better. Just mindless aggression which you cannot be part of, but you are forced to be to survive. There were instances when you be part of that rat race and you loose out and you get back home to another battle field of mounting responsibilities, where you are asked when is the next coming along. So anticipation of another deliverable here too.

Now since I have taken it all out or most of it out. Just considering a equal playground for all with no special responsibilities for any gender right from childhood, could clear a lot out. Mainly the expectations, guilt mounted by them and actions riddled by it.