Dethroned
By habit, we slot people whom we interact with or people we observe. The slotting could be like this — this person is to be admired and followed, or this person can be ignored, this person always jokes, this person is sarcastic, or he is intelligent or dumb.
I come to realize by doing so, we are just considering only one avatar/facet of the person. All other aspects become immaterial and sometimes may be fully ignored. It is hard to get past that initial impression as well. We applaud the wins, goods in a situation or achievements of the person. Ignore all other equally important aspects.
Growing up we all consider some of the adults around as idol figures, more so by virtue of time spent with them, we start modeling them as well. By habit or conditioning, the elders do not show their vulnerabilities or failures, keep them under wraps. You get to see a version that is always striving and going ahead whatever it may be. This creates an illusion and conditioning for most of us that it is how the things in life are dealt with. This also makes you oblivious to most of the realities and hardships called life of course interspersed with joys, achievements, and successes which are applauded and given importance to. We tend to associate the person to be an achiever/striver as a label. This conditioning forms in us not to very well deal with challenges that could be faced in adult situations and as the modeling is done, you could mask the real feeling and put an avatar on of a person who needs to strive, whatever could be the challenge. It sometimes gets interspersed with logic, if she can do it you can do it too. Never evaluate whether you want to do it at all, or whether there is another way of doing it or a pace that suits your being. Basically, as our schooling system is, we all go in a herd and we all look the same and tend to behave the same.
We all have safe sources where we go for advice or suggestions, most of us have a habit of following those suggestions as such without much thought. This could be because of the trust which might have developed because you have seen the person achieve good results in his/her life. So it has to work for mine too!
This somehow undermines the whole situation and process that you are in and which is most of the time very different from the other person's context. Not to say that the advice need not be sought, but to say that a thought on your process is to be put in while implementing it.
You implemented the given suggestion without this most important thought and the results are not as it is supposed to be how you want in the present context. You are faced with certain challenges and failures, you tend to start questioning your capabilities, as well as you tend to have doubts about the advice as well and advisors' capabilities too.
The person who had been occupying a high status in your thinking now is looked at with contempt, and doubt from then on. And he tumbles from the throne he was on. He is dethroned!
I realize that wouldn't it have been better if we had considered any person as a normal flawed individual with good and bad as any of us are. Grey shades of his/hers need to be considered than mixing that with black and putting them in dark corners below the carpet.
