As it is — Am I ok?

In a world filled with filters, angles, filters, and masks, it is the real acceptable.

My experience had been — NO very affirmatively.

In my 20s, I had been more reticent. I saw crow’s feet crinkling at the corner as I smiled. I needed it gone; fillers were embraced. Yes, it did disappear, but the smile felt incomplete.

Decided not to alter anything from then on. They are understood to be here for a purpose, so let them be

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Saw discomfort when opinions were expressed and felt congested as they trashed inside rather than just being fluent about them

In my 30s, I waited for the excess fat to leave somehow. To the point that I hated the excess that was there and even had a weird way to get rid of it. This led to mental turmoil.

The words that got out were very filtered and masked according to the receiver, not because I wanted to express something.

The real was lost, and It had decided to leave. But in that last battle, something told me to take sides. Contrary to the last four decades, I decided to take the real’s side.

To wear those body rolls with elan , to hear a nudge that you aren different from when I saw you last. My question is, did you ask how I felt then?

Let the soft wind waft through the ashed strands and be proud of it. To hear I use this or that to mask them. My question is, what would you have done otherwise?

To speak what I felt. When susshed and when that embarrassment wafts through the faces. My question is, Who would hear that, then? I don’t want it to thump against my chest and die there.

May be I would only understand the real me, so be it.