Art of tapping the untapped
We all need it, and it’s an essential part of us, and discovering about it can be nuturing and life giving. Growing up, you see changes happening rapidly by the age 14 or so, and you want to rub and fondle, but little could be figure out what this urge was, and there weren’t sources to validate those feelings with a literature or a visual. We had two flowers touching eachother when a man and woman experienced it on screen. I remember having some literature around which used to have discrete mention of it, and that did give some sense to that desire, which was growing. Of course, life takes on, academics was of the utmost importance, so these thoughts were considered fleeting or even disregardful. Had a classmate who had explored such urges of hers and had seen being shamed for it. This made an impression, to the extent that she was married off just after school. Let’s give her what she wants as she wasn’t interested in academics might have been the thought of the worried parents. Little did wisdom dawn on the elderly around to talk and make sense of this urge and channelize it and especially not label it. So by then, it was a taboo and non-essential ingredient.
Enter college, first day of it and the supreme head of it, warns you of the other gender in a college across road. The literal words translates to they are there to get you. A very wrong connotation to a relationship which is yet to be formed but already scarred by such warnings.
In those years since there is a lot of caution on this relationship, so there was intrigue on to what is it all about. This lead which to hangout as a group out of college. This co-ed which I was in for graduation was run by a spiritual institution and thus had a different set of values on everything, and on the subject here, there were strict rules, which made them fine us if we are seen with the opposite gender anywhere in the college or may be anywhere. The moral policing was at its peak. So this innocent hangout outside was considered as a cardinal crime which you could ever commit, for which we as separate groups of girls and boys called into head of institutions office to be advised otherwise. Once more was reiterated that the apples are sour and don’t ever try to go near it. Which makes it all the more alluring I guess.
We are in the land of Sastras written on this science of this highest form of energy as it is called. In the sastras, they talk of 64 skills, which every one should learn to be master of it. So, putting up above said restrictions, I saw that most which got affected was self-confidence. By optimising this power, yes they call this as power in sastras, you are supposedly enhancing your appeal( mostly to self as I can believe, to others can be called bonus), charm ( still for self), connection ( very essential for day to day dance of life to go on), self confidence( most essential for existence in joy, not sustenance), charm and vulnerability. These are very essential qualities, but never talked about nor trained on. With all of them plummeting later on, which comes out as resentment and failed or strained connections to self and others. These connections which I talk aren’t essentially pertaining to a bedroom or to confines of home, but essentoal also in a work or social settings. Just as I came from such an upbringing and so would be the men around too mostly of those times. The information which was handed down to them could have been skewed, and thus they also weren’t clear of the how-tos of this social hobnob. So it is this power within you that needs optimal treatment, by no reason, it was relegated to be one of the lower rungs of the pyramid by Maslow in this hierarchy of needs. Once you harness that, you seem to have been given a rung to rise up for better or higher conquests of self-esteem and realisations in life.
This subject is a victim of colonisation as well, as the British came along, they moulded us to be prudes in this department and thus made discussions on these a lot more hush hush. It was more for women than men in most of the context. Her desire for it was to be harnessed or kept aside. More to the level of cutting certain parts of hymen in certain sects of one of the marginalised religions, so that it remains a hole for procreation and pleasure is fully out of question. Little do men know, it starts in the brain, and as per sastras, it can be achieved by other parts which aren’t mutilated. So power to those woman, who power through even after these restrictions and mutilations. A valuable life skill, its life giving for basics, which is seen to be a bane, needs to be unleashed. We are living in a stage where it can be looked at more holistically as a skill to be nutured to feel confident, to enhance appeal, charm, for nurturing the connection to self and others and also to feel vulnerable in the favourable and essential contexts. So, for a maybe to be yes, a lot of work goes on, it cannot be just a compliment.
