Are you our allies ?
Woman are often told I can do anything for you?
And we get all mushy and teary eyed.
We are often given a gentlemanly treatment of pulling the chair or opening a door for us.
Awwww, such a chivalrous man is the feeling.
Is that man enough or even human enough?
I somehow feel if he is a man who talks of females around him with respect when she isn’t present is my kind of person to be with.
Someone who listens and not interrupts. But that doesn’t mean we would blabber away and you wouldn’t be listened to. But often, what I have observed is that men have a tendency to conclude on the topic and start giving you solution’s. We aren’t looking for solution’s, we just need a patient listener as a friend, we know to solve it, and we may not want to solve it then. Sometimes, we like to live in misery and then decide at one point to take help or not. Just as we don’t want help in lifting a chair or opening a door. But yes ofcourse more strenuous lifting we do need help, physiology you see. Evolution might give us testosterone at one point so that we get equipped to lift as well as you.
Manplaing — How much you love it and we hate it. We might hear you a couple of times, but then we use your trick on you. We would keep noding but not listening. Huh tit for tat, aren’t we equal here. Or tell us you want to talk, we are all here to listen, patiently, don’t impose your so called knowledge on us. We would ask for it, then please go ahead. And you aren’t doing any favour here, remember we are here to learn and grow “together”. Together being the emphasis.
Your growth is super important, so is ours. So your career is as important as ours. We might be pursuing it with a different purpose than yours. But that’s our pursuit, a pregnancy or childcare shouldn’t be a reason for you to think I am not serious about it. Help me to contribute effectively then, you might have an ally for you for your bigger projects later.
Our conditioning might have made us however we are, but all of us are trying to break out of that and bring change. So let’s be part of change when the next time your pal makes a misogynist comment/joke, then defend us with all claws out. Can you?
That might be manning up! Or “humaning” up
