A full bar of chocolate
That was my dream. To eat one by myself. It's not that I didn't like sharing. By nature, I would like to make sure all around have enough although I might have taken the first gulp already. But that instinct checks in to check on people around.
It's the five star which was vyed for. Here what I am pointing out is the feeling of abundance which was missing. Constant questioning of “ Do I deserve it “keeps pestering me till today, when some good stuff presents itself. When a new and good experience comes to you, you can sift through it or savor it. How you react to it is largely dependent on the conditioning. If you grow up in an environment where lack is emphasized and there is a genuine lack of resources, then how you respond to good stuff and experiences can be with a pinch of guilt always or pride sometimes. When your tide shifts and you are presented with good experiences, you still may not savor it in the way it is supposed to be. Either you go all out boasting about it and show it off. Or you thread through the experience as it's not yours, and thus wouldn't savor it fully too. Have gone through all of the above.
Have had the dream of eating a 5-star fully one day, but as always there is a lack of resources. Sometimes when the tides shifted and were presented with opportunities, it was plundered and got back to rock bottom. Have had instances when traveled all through Europe without savoring it always it felt as though you don't deserve it.
Learning would be present to the reality then and savor it. I used “savor” the word a lot here… because it tells the essence that is …..experiencing the lack of resources also needs to be done with elan, if not it can come back at you in the wrong ways and habits.
